Reframing self-harm. When is it okay to cause ourselves pain?
Is it fair to shame and stigmatize refers to the act of branding or labeling a person or group in a way that promotes negative perceptions and social disapproval. This often leads to feelings of shame and isolation for those who are affected, as they may be unfairly judged based on their circumstances or challenges. The impact of stigmatization can be profound, making it difficult for individuals to seek help and support when they need it most.
For example: How is the voluntary pain and injury that comes with playing sports different from self-inflicted pain?
Voluntary pain, such as that experienced in certain games, sports, or activities is generally framed within a context of enjoyment, challenge, or personal growth. Engaging in strenuous exercise or taking calculated risks in sports can lead to physical discomfort or minor injuries, but these activities are generally associated with positive feelings such as accomplishment or exhilaration. The individuals participating in these activities are usually aware of the risks and engage in them voluntarily, often with the understanding that the pain is temporary and has a specific, often rewarding intention.
In contrast, self-harm, such as cutting, typically occurs from a place of emotional distress rather than as a means to achieve a positive outcome. Individuals who engage in self-harm may do so as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings, express psychological pain, or exert control over their bodies in a world where they feel powerless. The pain inflicted in self-harm is not usually a means to an end, and it often leads to a cycle of guilt and shame, rather than the feelings of satisfaction or achievement that might accompany voluntary pain from sports or other activities.
The key difference lies in the intent and context. Voluntary pain is often undertaken with an understanding and acceptance of risk, providing avenues for personal growth and fulfillment. Self-harm, on the other hand, is a maladaptive coping mechanism rooted in emotional turmoil, leading to further psychological and often physical consequences. Understanding these distinctions is essential in recognizing the underlying issues and offering appropriate support to those struggling with self-harm.
To further complicate this matter (or another reason we need to judge less) is that there are many of us who wouldn’t dream of participating in some activity or sport because the risk of temporary or permanent injury.
We as a culture spend great sums of money to build stadiums or rings where we can then go watch individuals and teams try to tear each other apart. We watch players get carried off the field, picked up off the floor of the ring, get slammed against walls and numerous other ways these fragile bodies take incredible abuse.
Yet this kind of abuse is okay? In good fun? Where is the line drawn for that individual when it is “part of the game,” or “comes with the territory?”
Why do then turn around and shame and scoff when someone who is feeling the loss of control and peace in their life inflict pain or injury upon themself almost universally in private? If we made this a spectator sport would be okay? Would we still be cheering?
It is a very complex and the goal here is not to make it an right or wrong, either or, black and white behavior.
What I do know is when we take stop, take a step back, and see how incredibly complex our behavior is, whether as an individual or on a societal level, we withhold judgement.
Compassion will never grow in a heart filled with judgement.
In summary:
Self-harm is a complicated behavior often used by people dealing with emotional pain or distress. It may include actions like cutting or burning as a way to express inner struggles or regain control when feeling powerless. While some seek quick relief from their feelings through self-harm, it does not solve the deeper issues and can result in lasting physical and mental effects. Support from mental health professionals, friends, and family is vital in helping individuals find better ways to cope and address the real causes of their pain.
